RENT: But Then Again

[find_rightbrain]

Title: But Then Again
Feedback: Please?
Characters/Pairing: Roger/Maureen
Word Count: 400
Rating: PG-13
Summary: They thought they could, but then again...
Notes: Written for speed_rent challenge #172, and for soscaredtolove as an overgrown drabble request.
Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine, Rent's not mine, and "Then Again" is not mine. All clear on that?

She didn't matter to him, she was just another fuck after another gig - she'd come home with him and spend the night and leave in the morning and he'd probably never see her again and that was fine by him. That was how it was with every girl he brought home, never anything serious to him, never anything that mattered beyond momentary pleasure and a warm body next to him at night. But then again, he hadn't counted on waking up before her, watching her sleep, or her perfect, lovely smile when she woke up and her eyes met his.

He knew the feeling of addiction well enough, and she was it, much as any drug. Kisses like vanilla, smooth and sweet, and dark hair tangled around his fingers, and dangerous, daring smiles and he was hooked, needed her much as the heroin, needed his heroine and the high she gave him, better than any drug because this he didn't have to come down from, this didn't lead him to crash. And maybe this was love, this flying, floating, tumbling free fall perfect, pure high, maybe she loved him and needed him too, but then again, what did he know?

He wasn't tumbling and flying and floating for her, he was peace and shelter from the storm, and you'd never think it to look at him. But with him all her whirling wild thoughts stopped dead, and with him she could be silent, with him there was only breath and heartbeat and safety for the first time in ages. And maybe this was love, this place of peace and safety and sanity and still, and whatever it was she didn't want to let this go, but then again, she of all people knew no peace or stability could last forever.

No matter if he thought he needed her more than the drug. The truth was chemical dependence and physical addiction mattered more than any love or approximation of it, and when he was retching and shaking and hurting, not even she could lift him out of it, and when he had the drug the part of him that was him lapsed into the background, the storm and all her raging, terrifying thoughts came whirling back and her peace vanished. And they'd lost each other, and lost themselves, and there was no reason to continue this wild/peaceful love. But then again...

Comments

[wicked-89.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you so much for posting these fics :D I loved both of them and hope to read more from you soon

[allfireburns.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'll definitely be sure to see if I can find some shiny Roger/Maureen plotbunny to write soon.