RENT: The Murder of Jack

[find_rightbrain]

Title: The Murder of Jack
Characters/Pairing: Mark, Roger
Word Count: 556
Rating: G
Summary: Roger wants to get rid of the loft's newest "resident", and Mark is not pleased.
Notes: Written for speed_rent challenge #202.
Disclaimer: Don't own Rent or any of it's characters. Sorry.

"Hey, Mark?" Roger called from the kitchen, sounding more than a little concerned and slightly disturbed.

Stretched out on the couch, Mark didn't look up from the paper he was reading, just responded calmly, "Yeah?" He'd learned a long time ago not to pay much attention to Roger when he got that tone – it usually meant that whatever followed would be something odd and comprehensible only to Roger.

"There's something weird in the fridge," Roger announced, and Mark just rolled his eyes.

"Roger, there's always something weird in the fridge. If you don't want it, don't touch it."

"No, I mean it. It's green and fuzzy. And I think it's developed a brain."

Mark frowned for a second, and then looked up at Roger over the paper, perfectly calm. "Oh. Yeah. That's Jack."

Roger stared at him in horror. "You named it?"

Mark shrugged. "Me and April. We decided it should have a name. It's kind of... cute. Like a pet."

"You're kidding, right?"

Turning back to his paper, Mark answered, "Leave Jack alone. You don't have to like him, but you shouldn't be mean to him."

Roger let go of the refrigerator door and let it swing shut as he walked into the living room, sitting on the arm of the couch by Mark's feet. "Mark. You don't understand. That thing has evolved a brain. It's intelligent, and it's plotting."

"Plotting?"

"Yes. Plotting. I believe it will kill us in our sleep."

"Roger," Mark said slowly, as if explaining something to a small child. "Jack doesn't have limbs."

"It doesn't need limbs. It can just... ooze."

Mark blinked at Roger for a minute longer, and then just shook his head. "I can't believe I'm having this conversation."

"I think you should get rid of it."

It was Mark's turn to give Roger a horrified look. "We couldn't get rid of Jack! He's part of the family. It'd be like... getting rid of you."

Roger took a moment to process that. "Please tell me you do not equate me to a fuzzy green thing in the fridge."

"No, it was just an example. You can't get rid of Jack."

After staring at Mark for a moment, Roger shook his head and vaulted off the couch, heading back to the fridge. "I'm throwing it out."

Mark set the paper down and sat up indignantly, glaring at Roger. "Roger, you can't. We've named it!"

"It's for your own good, Mark," Roger called. "So it doesn't, you know, ooze out in the middle of the night and suffocate you while you sleep." Before Mark could get up, he reached into the fridge and pulled out a suspicious-looking, unidentifiable thing out of the fridge, something that had presumably been edible at some point and, holding it at arm's length, walked over to dump it in the trash. Mark shot him a mock-glare.

"I hope you realize you just killed Jack."

"Yes," Roger said, with a mocking smile. "I have vanquished the evil fridge-creature, and you ought to thank me for it."

"Murderer," Mark accused, and flopped back onto the couch. "And now I have to arrange a memorial service."

"A memorial service?"

"Yes. With April and the condiments. You're not invited."